Separation Counselling (Conscious uncoupling)

Sometimes, one partner feels unsure about continuing the relationship — emotionally leaning out — while the other still wants to try, leaning in.

When this happens, traditional couples therapy can feel too soon or too intense.

Separation Counselling, also known as Discernment Counselling, or conscious uncoupling is designed specifically for this moment.

It is a short-term, structured process that helps you slow things down, pause the conflict, and gain clarity before making major decisions.
This work is not about persuading you to stay together — it’s about understanding how you arrived here, what has been lost, and whether there is a genuine path forward.

 Separation Counselling may be helpful if:

• One of you feels uncertain about staying in the relationship
• You feel stuck in repeated, painful conversations
• There is pressure to “decide” but no space to think clearly
• You want to reduce harm — whether you stay together or separate

• A calm, confidential space to talk honestly without pressure
• Time for both partners to be heard — together and individually
• Insight into the patterns and choices that have shaped your relationship
• Support to decide whether to rebuild or separate with clarity and respect

Each of you has space to explore your perspective — one-to-one with me and together — so decisions are made with understanding rather than confusion, blame, or urgency.

By the end of the process, couples typically arrive at one of three positions:

• Pausing — keeping things as they are for now while reflecting further
• Separating — with greater compassion, understanding, and emotional steadiness
• Recommitting — choosing a period of focused couples therapy to repair and rebuild

My role is to guide you carefully and impartially — without judgement or pressure — so you can make a thoughtful, confident decision about what comes next.

 Separation Counselling usually involves between one and five sessions.

• Sessions are typically 90 minutes
• The first session may be longer if needed
• The process is time-limited and decision-focused

The aim is clarity — whether that leads to repair work or a respectful separation. 

 Separation Counselling

• For couples unsure about staying together
• Focuses on clarity, insight, and decision-making
• Short-term (1–5 sessions)
• Emphasises individual reflection as well as joint discussion

Couples Therapy

• For couples who have chosen to work on rebuilding
• Focuses on repair, communication, and growth
• Longer-term and more in-depth
• Emphasises teamwork, change, and reconnection

Many couples begin with Separation Counselling and, if both decide to try again, continue into Couples Therapy. 

I’m Penny Lippett, an experienced couples counsellor based in North Devon. I work using Gottman- and Discernment-informed approaches, combining evidence-based practice with warmth, realism, and compassion. Sessions are structured yet human — calm, grounded conversations that help you both see your situation more clearly and move forward with dignity.

• Length: Typically 90 minutes (up to a maximum of five sessions)
• Format: Face-to-face in Barnstaple, North Devon, or online via Zoom
• Fee: £105 per hour (daytime) | £120 per hour (after 6.30pm)
• Free 20-Minute Consultation: To explore whether Separation Counselling or Couples Therapy is the best fit
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If you’re feeling torn, uncertain, or emotionally disconnected — or if one of you is ready to work and the other isn’t sure — Separation Counselling can help you find clarity, steadiness, and direction.

Helping couples move forward thoughtfully — whatever path they choose.Book your free Separation (Discernment) Counselling consultation